2004: the most remarkable of all remarkable years!

Aaahhhh!! Yeah, I want to scream, this is what I'm feeling now. Well, 'cause of a lot of things, good things, bad things, stupidities. But my immediate will of screaming comes from the fuckin' stupid car accident I put myself in a couple hours ago! Fuck! How could I be so stupid?? Well, I'm OK, nobody's hurt apart from my own car, which is already in fixing process. It'll be ready tomorrow or Friday but I'm only seeing it next year, 'cos tomorrow I'm driving my mother's car to (the city of) Guarujá with The girl to meet Noodle and his girlfriend.

Let's just talk a little bit about 2004, 2005 and some positive stuff. This is the last post of the year (probably!) so we gotta enjoy it!

Well, as I said in the title above, 2004 was a really - really! - remarkable year! There was no single fuckin' year in my past that could be considered so important for me as 2004.

I achieved a lot of personal goals concerning my job, my with-women-life (let's not refer to it only as "love life" or "sexual life" 'cos with-women-life involves much more than these two things), my family life, my relationship with friends, ex-friends...

I've been learning to say "no". I've been learning to say "fuck off". I've been learning a lot about self respect.

I'm much more self-confident, I think I'm finally learning my true value. If I had to resume this year in a few words that's how it'd be. If I hadn't learnt these things I'd never have achieved so many goals as I did.

About ex-friends: I don't regret. The final word was mine and I'm certainly not the one who has lost more.

About friends: I have some... not as many as I'd like to, not always the way I wanted, but it has to be this way. Each one lives his own life, each one is one. I don't want them living their lives around myself the same way I don't live mine around them.

Women: well... let's not talk about numbers; numbers are bullshit. Again, things started to happen when I started to respect myself. ("Eu experimentei uma sensação que até então não conhecia..." -- Lulu Santos)

About health: thanks God and some of my discipline I'm healthy and I feel healthier! ("Body health and mind health" -- !!)

About exploring the world, different places, different cultures: I DID! FOR MY FUCKIN' SELF!! The way I wrote in the beginning!

About my job: yes, I have The job also. ("You don't have to do what you like but to like what you do")


About 2005...

Some plans... let's put in practice all I've learnt from 2004. Let's enjoy it, let's make (more!) things happen!

Well... just tired of writing and got some stuff to do.

Link of the week: www.amazon.com
From there you can donate to the victims of the killer tsu-fuckin-namis in Asia. This won't bring the deads back, but can save others.


Happy 2005

!!

"Meus bons amigos,

onde estão? Notícias de todos quero saber.
Cada um fez sua vida de forma diferente, às vezes me pergunto:
malditos ou inocentes??"
  -- Barão Vermelho, Meus Bons Amigos

Finally something..

DNS, ACLs, BSD, ipf, syslog, .BR and some other letters are the main reasons for my absense. This should go on this way, sorry for the ones who keep reloading this page every hour, sorry for the ones who used to talk to me by instant messengers. At least now I'm happy with my work in a way it'd been too long I wasn't.

I still need to take better care of my sleeping. It seems this will be a karma I'll carry forever...

Today I'm trying to find somewhere to download O'Reilly's book DNS & Bind Cookbook. If you know where to find it, please tell me.

"..., but today he is uninterested and uninteresting."

In a few hours we'll have a confraternization party here in the office. Hmmmm, 'always liked these parties...

Yesterday I worked (repeating: REALLY worked) from 8 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. I wish I had more days like this.

(decided I won't reread the statements in this post.)

Last night I dreamt I broke the rule. Just a dream, now I'm awake and have absolutely no intentions of breakin' it. Cool!

Yesterday I received a very surprising and lovely merry-xmas-message. This reminded me of some people I should be writing to today.

Next year's Du's almost ready. 2005's version's much better than 2004's (which was already much better than 2003's). I think I'll have a cool New Year's Eve and enter 2005 with my right foot!

I got a new mobile (the numba' is the same but the machine...)

I'm not enrolling on an English course next year. Spanish is the chosen language.

I wish YOU a Merry Xmas and a prosperous New Year!! (as I always say in Portuguese: "Feliz Natal e um próximo ano novo!")

"Are you talking about your boyfriend or your father??"

(hope everybody could understand most of what I said in this post; I really tried to write down more than obscure phrases...)

Thursday, December 16th, 1999

Exactly five years ago I was as far away from my current life as my incapacity of predicting I was much nearer than I thought.

(Kinda confusing, huh? Hahhaha, just wanna emphasise the importance of a birthday never celebrated before...)

Dear Instant Messenger's Friends,

I have to inform you I'm afraid from now on I won't be as available as I've always been and, if everything goes right, this reduction of use should last for an undetermined period (perhaps forever). However, don't hesitate to contact me through electronic mail whenever you want.

Sincerely,
Du!!

$ cvs commit

Titãs yesterday afternoon...

"Vou comprar uma casa, vou ganhar dinheiro
Vou pensar no futuro, vou fazer um seguro
Vou ganhar o pão nosso de cada dia
Vou por tudo o que tenho na garantia
Vou ter conta no banco, vou trabalhar no escritório
Vou tomar um chope, vou tomar sorvete
Vou tomar remédio, que maravilha
Vou casar e constituir família..."

  -- "Tudo em Dia"


(break to have dinner at the 1st Brazilian Burger King)


Titãs 2h30 ago...

"Eu sei que ela pode te parar
Eu sei que ela pode te prender..."

  -- "Polícia"

"...era você de Aracajú (ou do Alabama)"

"I think I've been learning with you more than I expected."

"Nobody ever treated me as well as you do."

"...como um jogo de Truco;"
"Seu bobo! Seu feio! Nojeeento!!"

^^ !!

Keywords

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"


Yes, I can lie (perhaps I already do it) and this has nothing to do with dishonesty.


Go skiing in Chile or Argentina, study Spanish in Lima or Cusco, get to know Machu Pichu or the lakes region south of Santiago. Ideas, just that. 365 days ago I had the idea of studying English in Canada someday.


Been to (the city of) Guarujá with Noodle and Cod Fish, just them. Nice weekend. Just nice.


Loving is all about dreaming. Kill the dreams and love's gonne. Dreams that come true are still dreams.


"Do you think you can tell..?"


1+1=3

"...and my friends don't seem to be friends at all but people whose phone numbers I haven't lost."

    -- chapter V, p58

  'Hold on a minute, then. I've got to go for a slash.'
  'Me too,' Dick says.
  When they're gone, I get out quick, and hail a black cab. It's brilliant, being depressed; you can behave as badly as you like.
    -- chapter VI, p65

"Did I do and say these things? Yes, I did. Are there mitigating circumstances? Not really, unless any circumstances (in other words, context) can be regarded as mitigating. And before you judge, although you have probably already done so, go away and write down the worst four things that you have done to your partner, even if - especially if - your partner doesn't know about them. Don't dress these things up, or try to explain them; just write them down, in a list, in the plainest language possible. Finished? OK, so who's the arsehole now?"
    -- chapter VII, p72

"Não pergunte quem foi Ana nem o que é trottoir."

  -- Gessinger, e-Stória (!!)

~80 min Rush Essentials (by Du!!)

1 - Closer to the Heart (Rush in Rio, 2002) (1977)
2 - The Trees (Rush in Rio, 2002) (1978)
3 - The Spirit of the Radio (1980)
4 - Tom Sawyer (1981)
5 - YYZ (1981)
6 - Subdivisions (A Show of Hands, 1989) (1982)
7 - Red Sector A (A Show of Hands, 1989) (1984)
8 - The Enemy Within (part I of Fear) (1984)
9 - The Weapon (part II of Fear) (1982)
10 - Witch Hunt (part III of Fear) (1981)
11 - The Pass (1989)
12 - Roll the Bones (1991)
13 - Test for Echo (1996)
14 - Resist (1996)
15 - One Little Victory (2002)
16 - Heart Full of Soul (2004)


Five material copies (including mine) and one virtual. Five close people who know almost no Rush at all but are interested in knowing.

This is my list, in order, very carefully selected.

A matter of choice

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
    -- Prof. Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (JKR)


Almost no sleep for the past night.
Almost two hours of traffic jam to get to the office this morning.

I'm not a perfect person; I don't live a perfect life.
I could write lots of negative stuff that travel around my mind at this moment but this is NOT my choice.

A cup of coffee, a big mug of green tea with mint, a smile.
I'd rather focus on the HEAPS of positive things that surround me now.
Don't need great effort to summon them.

I have the ability; this is my choice.

Have a happy week!!

(* picture: Niagara, CA - August, 2004)

"menino e menina,...

...se conheceram quase sem querer
não foi por obra do acaso, tinha mesmo que acontecer
faziam tantos planos que seus vinte e poucos anos eram poucos pra tanto querer
eles se julgavam diferentes como todos os amantes imaginam ser
ah! se eles soubessem o que eles pensam saber..."

    -- Menino e Menina, Os Paralamas do Sucesso

"...not when we are together, nor when we are talking on the phone, but when we are separated..."

I do know what it is. In my body, under my skin, in my mind; in my parallel world. I don't know how to face this also. Are these feelings natural? Could they be different in other instances?

("...could these imperfections be even, why not?, admired?" -- T. Bhor)

"TWO"

(first published in Portuguese at 8106.du!! in January 20th, 2003)

- ...then I started to think about finding a lover!
- Yes...
- Really! Just wonder... to live dangerously, to run away, once in a while, from that boyfriend's serene life, to enjoy other experiences!
- Hm...
- But the lover character doesn't make any sense if I don't have a girlfriend...
- No doubt.
- ...so, I thought, first I need a girlfriend!
- In fact.
- However, analyzing the girls I've dated and, trying to imagine the next girlfriend, I concluded I could never have a lover! When I really like someone, I don't want to get involved in adventures and, when I don't really like, I don't date.
- True...
- So I found a solution!
- Really? What solution?
- What if I had TWO girlfriends?
- What? What do you mean?
- That's it, two girlfriends, and one shouldn't know about the other one, two girls I really like.
- It's impossible to fall in love with two people.
- Are you sure? It might be possible... have you ever wondered about the advantages of having two girlfriends? You never get bored, there's no routine, you'll feel much happier inside and consequently you'll be able to be a best boyfriend for both!
- Man, you are nuts! And the craziest is that I know you really BELIEVE in what you are saying...
- Hahha, just think about the situation... can you imagine how much fun you would have with this?
- Hm, perhaps you may be kinda right...
- Why not?

!!'s Linux Desktop...

(click to enlarge)

"Keep this book away from your girlfriend."

  -- Details

High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby, the one I started reading yesterday.

10 pages read by now; probably the top 10 funniest pages I read this year.