"Better to save the mystery than surrender to the secret."

    -- Dream Theater, Another Day

Yesterday a fuckin' good magician (I refuse to call him illusionist, he's a real magician!) outstandingly tricked me and a couple of friends! We were all taken aback by what happened right in front of our eyes!!

Today I started to think of googling around for the secret of those tricks. Although I'm almost sure not even Mr. Google can help me, Mr. Albert just convinced me to give up of this idea and keep feeling this mystery...


"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
    -- Albert Einstein

Soundtrack: Nyabinghi Order, performed by Groundation

(and also Dream, Jah Jah Know, Bobby and others...)

Freud explains...

I think I know what they all mean now. In the first one she was her, no doubt. It doesn't matter she was disguised, dreams are just like that and I think I've got the message.

In the second one a small detail showed me one of my doubts, an uncertainty that time is already answering.

The last one was kind of a conclusion, emphasising my position.

"If the rule is like this, I'd rather being an exception."

What I am listening right NOW!

"And I know that if she had me back again
Well I would never make her sad
I've gotta heart full of soul"
  -- Heart Full of Soul, performed by Rush

Before I forget...

Last night I "met" the third blonde in less than a month! This time she was as pretty as my non-attraction for her. She was also very empty and uninteresting... Fuck off you bitch! Get out of my dream!

http://every day

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Werewolf

"Frustration hurts more than guilt."
  -- !! in Canada; but I'm not that sure about this anymore.

  "The question is not 'how can I still love you?' but 'how couldn't I?'."
  "I can protect you from everything but myself."

  "Of all these three points I'm only sure about one."

Now I understand your pain of having hurt the one you love. But while you will certainly be forgiven by time, I don't think I will. Neither by yourself nor by myself.

Rationality doesn't help. Your eyes say everything.

Poor maples...

"There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas

The trouble with the maples
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade"
  -- Rush, The Trees



There was a time in which I was afraid of not being accepted.

There was a time in which I didn't like me and was always trying to be something I could never be.

Today I'm myself, just that. I don't wanna be equal, I don't want to be different. I just want to be the best I myself can be.

I'm not ashame of having discovered this so recently.

"If it weren't for what I've passed thru I wouldn't be what I am today."
  -- ^^

The more I know myself, the more I like it.


My advice:

Don't try to hide or run away from your problems, your questions, 'cause sooner than you imagine they will come back much stronger. Face them. Understand them. Understand yourself.

Get to know what you really are. You'll certainly get very positively surprised (and you'll learn a lot about self-love)...


(...today it's been 2 years I've been blogging!!)

Hmmm...

Yesterday: Arab food by lunch time, Mexican food at night and Maltesers for dessert.

Today: Japanese food by lunch.

Past week: green tea every day, with jasmine, mint, pure, regular or toasted.

You are what you eat...

(fuckin' stupid post...)

Could she be MORE lovely??

NDC

;


"We've got a life to live..."
  -- Bob

Streaming!

gnump3d: what an amazing way to share mp3 files within a network! Still need more tests but till now it's woked pretty well! All the files are stored in a single machine and shared with the network through a web interface.

Just take a look at the screenshots!

"We will have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us."

    -- Golda Meir, Israeli founder and prime minister (1898-1978)

For the writers around

"One writer once said that the hardest thing for a writer's wife to learn is that when he's staring at the window he is working."
  -- Neil Peart, A Work In Progress

Half-words

No, it's definitely not a common name. Even more uncommon is the fact that it's owned by two different people in two absolutely different positions but with the same feelings about me.

Do you still dream of jelly-wrestling naked with her?

Almost 30?? I'd rather say "early 20s".

When that fucking fat loser nicknamed me I never thought this could be so useful. Thank you, jackass...

"Nobody believes, just we two... wanna know something?? This is the only thing that matters."

"I've heard no positive comments at all."

(More details in my still unreleased auto-biography.)

Impulsive? Hmm, maybe a little...

Just bought Neil Peart's Work in Progress DVD from a local online store. He is by far my favourite drummer and it's been years since I first promised myself I'd have this video one day. (It's my Xmas gift =)

Today...

...is the first day of the rest of MY life!

Commitment with the truth

"The final phase in Arafat's life-long commitment to organized terror was channeled through the al-Aqsa Martyrs' Brigade, a Fatah group that was responsible for many of the most deadly attacks against Israeli civilians between 2000-2004. Though many media outlets described a mere 'loose affiliation' between Arafat and this terrorist group, the evidence clearly indicated a direct financial and organizational bond between the two"

Full story: Yassir Arafat: 1929-2004 - HonestReporting's biography, with links to important sources.

update: in Portuguese

Incompatibility vs. Syncronicity

Finished the book and watched the movie. The movie is crap. It tells the story, just that. There's nothing more uninteresting in this book than the story itself. I'm not saying that it is, however the long descriptive pages about thoughts, ideas, desires, the way HH's mind is carefully scrutinized, these things make the book valuable.

(I feel kinda odd.)

"Somos só nós dois: eu e minhas circunstâncias."

"Where's your soul, dude??"

(whatever)

You wake up in the morning and look at the time. It doesn't matter, you'll always feel you'd like to be in bed for a while more. You get dressed, put your shoes on, brush your teeth and go wherever you have to. Most of your day is connected with this place you go to. You'll have lunch and, maybe, come back to it. You can call it office, school, college, whatever, this is your occupation, your main line, the thing you must get done. You have some interaction. You talk, chat, phone and e-mail lots of people you like, dislike or don't give a shit about. You look at the time again: time to go home. I know, sometimes you don't go home directly, you have secondary activities. A sport you practice, a friend you'll meet, whatever. But some time you'll get home and this is what matters. You just came back to the first scenario, your home, your stuff, your world. Many things you like to do, heaps of ideas you have to implement, but you never have enough time. It doesn't matter who you are, where you live or what you do, your finite time cannot compete with your infinite mind. Time to go to bed. Tomorrow'll be the same; whatever. Weekends. Week again. Weekends. Holiday, vacations, routine again. Parties, people, places, friends; you'll always miss somebody. You'll always miss somewhere you've been to. You study, you grow up, you graduate, you grow up, you find a job; you are always embracing changes. Whatever, it doesn't matter. 'Cause you get always back to the same place: yourself. This is where you'll always be. This is never changing. Whatever.

Differently from the last one, I can't rembember with precision the face of this one. If I make some effort I might almost get there, but it doesn't matter. What I can say for sure is that she was about 18 and was really beautiful. She had green eyes (could be blue) and straight and long blonde hair...

What kind of beach was that? It was dark, a cloudy night. I wasn't feeling exactly confortable. Hm, she was driving my car, now I remember. I was waiting for them laying on the shore and she was coming to me. Actually she was bringing me my girl. They were together and there was a third girl in the car completing the scene, another brunette. Never seen this third girl before.

...

I shouldn't have trusted this crazy fuckin' blonde bitch!

A happy clip!

Mario Bros. on Piano
(HIGHLY recommended!)

If I were a hobbit...

...would I be able to get rid of The Ring?

Top 3 movies I watched in 2004

1. The Butterfly Effect
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
3. The Terminal

I wish I had the whole list like I once used to make... just watched this one at the top of the list and wanna emphasize it's simply amazing!

This movie in my mind plus 2 years of bloggin' on my screen and I've just felt shivers down my spine!


4h39, update: just realized sth amazing 'bout it!
(just to remember when I wake up...)

Grrr... damn blogger.com! Offline for the whole day!

Meanwhile, 10 in the morning...

I've already said it before and in general I'm against this idea, but if I had that fuckin' silver ball with that tiny golden string coming out of it I'd certainly pull it a bit...

Yesterday I discovered I missed the Door's concert. Whatever, fuck off.

Nothing to do now. Absolutely nothing.

I wish I could at least open my book and finish it. I'm getting to the end and that uninteresting first half of the second part has gone.

Nobody interesting online. Well, kinda unfair to say that but there's nothing I can do if I'm gettin' more exigent.

A few days ago I felt the same way I did five years ago. This is odd.

My boss asked me what I'm intending to do with the 30 days of vacation I'll have next year. It was weird to think about this again right now, but at that moment some interesting ideas emerged. To sell some of it? No way!

There's another friend I miss now. It's been 2 years now since we became great friends but we haven't been together lately.

Gotta save some money.

Gotta read more. I miss these fictions more than ever.

Nobody to eat Japanese food with me today... dammit!

"Relax and enjoy! You think too much!"



2:47 in the afternoon...

From my mouth, through my veins, to my brain...

Not illegal nor risky; slightly peculiar, I'd say. My way, as it's been lately, as it shall be. Just relaxing and enjoying. I took my Lolita to the Japanese restaurant. We've been together for fourty pages, one temaki, some sushis and heaps of tuna and white-fish sashimis. Just came back, tranquil, relaxed, kinda swimming into metaphorical pools I've been building since the sun came up today...

(c u later, dude...)

Quote of the week

"The best women belong to the most daring men."
  -- Machado de Assis

The Blog Theory

Preface

Hi folks! This piece of text was extracted from 8106.du!!, my first blog, started almost 2 years ago and replaced by this one you are reading now. Although today I do not embrace every idea contained in the text I still find it quite nice.

The main reasons I had to put 8106.du!! out were (i) I wasn't happy with it's content anymore and (ii) I really wanted to write in English to keep practicing and reach more people globally. My Peace was released about 2 months ago and, in the beginning, I also didn't know if it was going to survive. Now here it is, alive and active, and this is how I intend to keep it for a long and undetermined while!

Bloggin' is cool!

Du!!
November 4th, 2004


The Blog Theory - by Du!!@8/Jan/2003

Month and a half after 8106.du!! went on release, I think I already have something to say about what I've learned with this thing. There was born the idea of writing The Blog Theory. Till now there are basically 2 points, but I consider them quite interesting...

The first thing I noticed about blogs in general is the power a blog might provide to its owner when used with wisdom: with a blog one can say whatever, to whoever and whenever he wants! Direct and indirect approaches can be very well applied and will hit the targets right in the center based on a simple assumption called human curiosity. I am curious, so are you and, when we realize somebody we know (or even better, somebody we take an interest in) might be writing something about ourselves or something we may find interesting, we certainly won't miss it! If the guy who's datin' your ex-girl had a blog, wouldn't you read it? If that chick you have a crush on had a blog, wouldn't you read it?

Without giving concrete examples (for name-protection's sake...) I can tell you I know bloggers who use the thing very thoughtfully and, before publishing every post, calculate what each person involved is going to think about it after reading: "well, my family's gonna think this, my girl that, my ex-girl another-that..." it's simple! And what's more funny: who reads get addicted! It's drug-like, causes strong dependence! Here enters the narcissism involved: who wouldn't want to see people admiring and depending on the admiration of his life? That thing of wondering "I am the guy", this is a kinda universal desire too...

This is how this power thing goes... with each one's creativity!

Now the happy and cute part of the thing comes: the blog is you! It really is! When I visit a blog, I'm not just visiting a website, I'm visiting it's owner! If I kinda miss somebody who blogs, I can enter his blog and have an idea of how his life's going, what he has been doing... and then, if I meet him next week, it'll be as if we'd already talked on the previous one, 'cause I already know something of what's going on with him.

One more point... there's all the voyeurism involved! Like, if the blog is the person, once the thing is public and most of the times doesn't have any kind of access control, I can perfectly observe the person without being seen! This gives a feeling of control over the owner, like "every step you take, I'll be watching you", and makes everything even funnier, also because one who blogs is surely a "client" of other blogs too and one who's only a client will certainly, at least once, think about starting his own blog!

Well, I'm not unsure anymore about the reasons of this thing! Here's the response! I'm happy with this blog, it kicks ass and, whenever possible, I'll keep writing! Whoever wants to read it will always be welcome!

Blog, dude!!

See ya,
Du!! (Why not?! http://blog.du.eti.br)

2 more cents daydreaming about reality

(and I'll promise to put this subject aside for a while...)

"All of a sudden it dawned on me November's arrived and in less than two months we'll be in another year."
  -- This is how I was going to start this post. (Err, haven't I just done it??)


i) From some months now, for many reasons and in several different situations, I've caught myself repeating I haven't landed on reality yet.

ii) Last Sunday I was thrown an interesting question: "can't you call it work if it is pleasurable?"


Who said reality is only about well-organized boring routine and uninteresting stuff?


"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
    -- Albert Einstein


P.S.: my dear reader don't forget to watch "Pi", the movie. I'm certainly doing it again soon.

  "They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until we grow."
  "Well I don't know if all that's true, 'cause you got me, and baby I got you."

    -- I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher

About last night

I remember being with some friends. I don't know exactly which friends nor how many, but most of the time there were more than one. Were there? Not sure, actually. I also remember some moments when I was alone.

I remember cars, 7-eleven-like stores, sort of a sex market, drug dealers trying to sell me stuff and the police following my steps. I remember different people; foreigners maybe. Perhaps I was the foreigner.

Man, wanna know something? I got really mad about all this! These fuckin' cops trying to incriminate me for something even them couldn't explain, invading my life, my personal stuff, my privacy... at least till that moment they hadn't invented anything and I was tranquil for knowing I had nothing to hide. But why the hell did they involve my eight-years-younger blonde girlfriend in all this shit?? This was really pissing me off! She didn't deserve it, not her, not at all!

I remember my mother having called me and telling me my girl was really upset about the police invading her and her family's privacy. She was also very disappointed with me for what the cops told her. To make things worse my mother had also got angry with me for being so stupid and not even wondering they could be listening to my phone calls.

After she hung up, I was thinking about calling my girl and explaining her I was as victim as she was but I wasn't sure she would understand.

At about 10 in the morning my cell phone ringed and I woke up. It was my girlfriend telling me we're not meeting today.